Die Träumer
by PrinceofElsinore
Summary: "He sometimes wondered how things might have been different, how his relationship with Gilbert might be different, if their parents had stayed together." Germancest AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a story I've had in my head for a while and just needed to get out. It's inspired by and loosely based on the film "Close My Eyes." It will only be a few parts long-for those of you following my "Submission" series, don't worry, I have every intention of returning to it soon. Sometimes it helps to get the creative juices flowing with a smaller project first, though.**

**Translations for German are at the end.**

**Warnings: language, incestuous themes, boy x boy**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia doesn't belong to me, nor does "Close My Eyes" (just to be safe, even if this story is only loosely based on it)**

...

It was only by chance that Ludwig decided to check his emails one last time before heading to bed. He liked to get to sleep early, but his boss had been known to send him last-minute requests as late as 10 pm. Ridiculous really. He ought to put more effort into his perfunctory scan of job openings in the classifieds. Time to move on.

And that was why, at 10:18 on a Sunday night, Ludwig happened to see the newest message in his inbox:

_Hi Ludwig,_

_It's been a while. Sorry I haven't been in touch more. Wanted to let you know I'm leaving my job Kiel—going to give Berlin a try. I'm coming in Tuesday morning and was hoping I could stay with you for just a few days, till I get settled into my new place. Let me know._

_Gilbert_

Ludwig reread the message several times before sighing and closing his computer. He'd reply to his brother tomorrow. He figured he didn't need to waste any more of his precious sleep time for the sake of a brother he'd barely had more than a few phone calls from in the past three years since their father's passing.

Ludwig was a little disgruntled as he tried to get comfortable under his duvet. His flat was small. But Gilbert could sleep on the couch, he supposed.

...

"Hey, little brother." Gilbert grinned, a little sheepishly, as he stood on the doormat. He adjusted his grip on the strap of his duffel.

"You're late. I have to get to work." Ludwig turned to gather up his briefcase and umbrella. The forecast for the day was rain.

Gilbert raised his eyebrows. "Some greeting," he muttered as he stepped over the threshold.

"Extra key's on the kitchen table. You can set your stuff in the living room. You'll be sleeping on the couch."

Gilbert nodded, standing awkwardly to the side of the entryway as his brother headed back to the door.

"Oh, and Gilbert—" Ludwig turned, as if on afterthought—"don't touch my beer," and closed the door behind him.

…

"So… what will you be doing this evening?"

"Working."

"No, I mean later."

Ludwig looked up from his toast and coffee at his brother across the table. Gilbert was still in boxer shorts and a t-shirt, hair rumpled with sleep. At least he was out of bed.

"Working," he repeated. "Here. At home."

"Sheesh, you busy all the time or somethin'?"

"No, not all the time. However, it must appear that way to someone who's never busy."

Gilbert frowned. "Told you, I'm between jobs. I'll find something."

"Hmm. And your apartment? How's that coming along?"

"I'm working on it."

Ludwig sighed. "Gilbert, you can't stay here, you know."

"I told you, I'm on it, okay?"

Ludwig pursed his lips. "Okay."

…

Ludwig couldn't see any sign of his brother being "on it." For the following three nights in a row, when Ludwig came home from work (late, as his boss had been pressing him especially hard recently) he found Gilbert on the couch in front of the tv, beer in hand. Having been banned from Ludwig's supply, Gilbert had been quick to cram a few six-packs of his own in the fridge.

The first night Ludwig had politely declined Gilbert's invitation to join him in watching reruns of "Germany's Next Top Model," taking his solitary dinner into his study, as he was accustomed to do. Gilbert didn't bother him again after that, but Ludwig had to raise an eyebrow at the number of bottles he noticed accumulating on the counter.

Gilbert insisted he had some job interviews lined up, but Ludwig wasn't sure he believed him.

On Saturday morning Gilbert didn't join him at the table for breakfast. Once Ludwig had finished and put his dishes in the dishwasher, he wandered into the living room to see if his brother was still sleeping.

Sure enough, there he was, snoring gently with his hand tucked under the pillow. The blanket had slipped off his shoulder, so Ludwig reached over and gently pulled it back up. Gilbert stirred slightly, but didn't wake.

Ludwig noticed a slight frown on his brother's features, and wondered if it was always there when he slept. He wouldn't know; he hadn't lived with Gilbert since he was eight years old, when their parents had divorced. Gilbert had gone to live with their mother, and Ludwig had stayed with their father, and they'd only seen each other twice a year at most after that.

He and Gilbert had never gotten along that well as kids, but Ludwig supposed he'd missed having his big brother around as he'd gotten older. He sometimes wondered how things might have been different, how his relationship with Gilbert might be different, if their parents had stayed together.

Their mother had died of cancer when Gilbert was at university, though, and their father's heart disease had finally caught up with him as Ludwig was finishing his Master's. With both their parents gone, he and Gilbert had little left in common.

Ludwig decided it would be a good day to ride his bike over to Tempelhof Park. He left a note for his brother on the coffee table:

_Coffee is in the kitchen. You can make yourself toast but don't eat all the Nutella. I'll be back this afternoon._

The coffee would probably be cold by the time Gilbert woke up, but Ludwig had a microwave.

…

Ludwig was surprised to find his brother gone when he returned later with groceries. He cleaned the kitchen, the shower, and the toilet, and was nearly done hanging the last of the laundry on the folding racks in the bathroom when he heard the door open again.

"_Hallo_," called Gilbert from the entryway.

Ludwig popped his head out of the bathroom. "Ah, hello Gilbert. Where have you been?" He eyed the plastic bags in his brother's arms questioningly.

"Went shopping! Thought I could make dinner tonight, for the two of us," Gilbert said cheerily as he bustled into the kitchen.

"I already bought _Spargel _for dinner," said Ludwig blankly, following his brother.

Gilbert grinned. "Great! We can have it on the side. I'm making _Königsberger Klopse_."

"In this weather? Isn't it a little warm?"

"Nah, _Klopse_ are good any time of year!"

Ludwig wanted to argue—he would prefer asparagus over meatballs on a warm night like this—but decided against it. Gilbert was trying to make a nice gesture, so he supposed he ought to appreciate it.

…

Ludwig had to admit, his brother was a better cook than he would have thought. He enjoyed dinner, even if the conversation was a little stilted.

Afterwards Gilbert convinced him to join him for a beer in the living room.

Once he was on the second beer (really his third, since he'd had a pils with dinner too) he decided to ask something he'd been wondering for a while.

"Why did you decide to leave Kiel? I thought you liked it there."

Gilbert took a long swig from his Erdinger. "Liked it? …Nah, not enough going on there. It's full of students, but I'm not a student anymore. I wanted more excitement. Wanted the big city."

"But your job was good, wasn't it?"

"It paid the bills. But it was never what I wanted to do."

"Oh yeah? What did you want to do?"

"Oh, nothing, it's… kinda stupid really."

"No, come on, tell me."

"Well I… I always wanted a career in music. I mean, I know it's unrealistic, to try to make it as a performer, but just—something that would involve a bit more creativity, rather than punching numbers all the time…"

Ludwig took a thoughtful draught. "I remember you telling me about that band you were in… what was it? 'The Bad…' something…"

Gilbert laughed. "Oh yeah, 'The Bad Touch Trio." Man, that was ages ago, surprised you remember."

"When did you guys break up?"

"When we graduated from university! Man… Y'know last I heard from Antonio he was in Berlin, actually. I should look him up."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you know, lots of Spaniards coming in for internships these days."

"Yeah."

Gilbert opened another bottle. "Hey… thanks for putting me up, for a while. I'll be out of your hair soon."

"No, it's okay." Ludwig shrugged. At the moment, he did feel okay with it. This was surprisingly nice, sharing a few beers with his brother and talking properly, like they hadn't for years.

Ludwig reached for another bottle as well. "It's good to… catch up."

"Yeah. Yeah, it is." Gilbert took a long drink and sighed. "Yeah. Y'know, I'm sorry I haven't been so good at keeping in touch. I mean, it's really good of you to let me stay here on such short notice, after I haven't—I mean, not hearing from me for so long—I'll, I'll be better, about that. And I mean, now we're in the same city."

"No, it's—it's not just your fault. I'm not so good about calling either." Ludwig turned the bottle guiltily around in his hands. He supposed he really could have tried harder to keep in regular contact with Gilbert. But with his job and all, he'd just… been busy.

"Y'know I uh, there's… actually there's another reason I left Kiel."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I had a girlfriend. Pretty serious actually."

"A girlfriend? You never told me." It was true Ludwig didn't keep his brother exactly updated on his love life, but something hurt just a bit about that.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I, uh… Well. She left me, so. I didn't feel like I could stay. Well, I couldn't. I was living in her apartment."

Ludwig took a gulp of his beer. "Damn."

"Yeah." After a pause, Gilbert added. "Needed a change of scene. So much there just reminded me of her."

Ludwig looked over at his brother. "How long were you together?"

"Nearly a year."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Thanks."

Gilbert looked sad, gazing down at his bottle. For some reason, it made Ludwig feel guilty.

"Hey," he said, reaching his bottle out. "_Prost_."

Gilbert met his eyes and grinned ruefully. "_Prost_," he responded, clinking their bottles together.

Gilbert didn't look away as they drained the rest of their beers.

Ludwig was feeling a little fuzzy-headed. He didn't usually drink so quickly, but he accepted the bottle Gilbert handed to him anyway.

"Are you happy?"

The question came out of the blue and caught Ludwig by surprise. "Happy?"

"Yeah, happy."

"Uh…" Ludwig had to admit it wasn't a question he often considered. "I… guess?" Work was tiring, but he couldn't really complain. It paid well; he had a comfortable enough flat. "I don't feel unhappy."

"Uh-uh, that's not the same thing."

"No?"

"Nope. You're lucky, if you're happy. Not many people are."

"You don't think so?"

"No."

"…You're not happy?"

Gilbert snorted. "My girlfriend of 11 months just dumped me, how do you think I feel?"

"Hm. So you're… unhappy?"

Gilbert was silent a moment, drinking his beer and staring off into the distance. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Yeah, I think I am. I don't… I don't know what I'm doing with my life, y'know? I feel like the past few years… it's just, been such a fucking waste. That's not what I want to do. And I thought Clara was like, the one, you know? And I wasted 11 fucking months with her, planning for a future that's never gonna happen… Just…"

Ludwig laid a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Hey, it's not… I'm sure it's not that bad," he said lamely, because he didn't know what else he could say.

Gilber looked over at him. He brought an arm up over Ludwig's shoulder. "And now you're all I got. A little brother I never talk to."

Ludwig blinked. He couldn't tell if that was supposed to be slightly joking or not.

But then suddenly Gilbert was leaning forward, head resting against Ludwig's shoulder.

Ludwig looked down in surprise, unsure what he should do. Did Gilbert want him to hug him? He couldn't even remember the last time he had hugged his brother.

"Funny, isn't it?"

Ludwig didn't know what his brother was referring to.

"Guess that's what family's for though, isn't it. Last person to turn to when you don't have anyone else left. And you're my only family now."

"Uh…" Ludwig had never really thought of it that way. But he supposed Gilbert was his family. "Yeah," he said, unsure. Gilbert wasn't moving, so he set his beer down and brought his arms around his brother in an awkward sort of hug.

Ludwig felt a bit uncomfortable, though—the position was rather intimate, and he hadn't held anyone in his arms in quite a long while. But his brother seemed like he needed comfort.

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

"You have anyone?"

Ludwig felt his face heating up a bit. He had never told his brother directly about his tastes, and he wasn't sure if Gilbert had ever guessed.

"Uh, no, not at the moment." He cleared his throat.

"You're into guys, right?" Gilbert traced his other hand up Ludwig's arm to his shoulder and locked his wrists behind his neck, as if he needed the extra support. His cold beer bottle, still clutched in one hand, pressed into Ludwig's flesh and made him shiver.

Ludwig's stomach squirmed uncomfortably. This didn't feel right.

He shifted a little, looking away. His hands felt leaden though, anchored to his brother's sides.

Gilbert pulled back just enough to look at his face. "What, you don't have to hide it from me," he laughed. "I've always known." He smirked.

Ludwig flushed and tried to pull away a little, though his arms remained where they were. "I should, um, get to bed," he muttered.

"Wait, wait." Gilbert's arms locked tighter around his neck. His head fell forward onto Ludwig's shoulder again. "Sorry, I, uh, don't go, please…"

The plea was so pitiful that Ludwig hesitated, uncomfortable as he felt.

Gilbert laughed weakly. "I just… Sorry, drinking makes me soppy sometimes… Kinda nice, though, isn't it? Just to be held…"

Ludwig felt frozen in place. Gilbert lifted his head and smiled lopsidedly. "I should let you get to bed I guess." But he didn't move his arms. His head was very close to Ludwig's, and Ludwig couldn't look away from his brother's oddly-shaded violet eyes.

Gilbert's lips twitched in a tiny laugh, and he leaned in to press his lips to his brother's cheek. They were warm and soft and made Ludwig's lungs stop working quite right.

_It's just a goodnight kiss from your big brother, that's all._

But then suddenly Gilbert turned his head, and his mouth was on Ludwig's, warm and wet, lips and tongue moving frantically for a few bewildering seconds.

And then Gilbert was pulling back, just as suddenly as he'd started, looking down and running a hand over his face. "Sorry, sorry. I, uh…" He shook his head and laughed a little. "Don't know what that was for, um, you should… you should get to bed…"

Ludwig sat staring at his brother, still glued to his seat in shock. He felt oddly tingly, and there was a strange pressure on his chest.

Gilbert glanced up at him, and his bright eyes looked unsure.

Ludwig nodded numbly. He stood, and somehow managed to stumble to his room and his bed.

He had a hard time sleeping that night, remembering the wet, hot press of another mouth against his. His brother's mouth.

His stomach churned, and he was sure it wasn't just the beer.

…

Gilbert was still sleeping when he rose the next day. He was gone again when Ludwig returned from his errands, and he didn't hear him come in the door until he was once again lying sleepless in his bed.

The next morning Ludwig heard movement in the living room and was surprised to meet Gilbert, packed bag slung over a shoulder, in the hallway.

"You're leaving?" he asked dumbly.

Gilbert nodded, not quite meeting his brother's eyes. "Yeah, got in touch with Antonio, I'll be staying at his place just till the end of the month."

"Oh."

"So, uh, thanks."

"Right. Um, breakfast?"

"No, no, I'm good thanks. Not hungry."

"Ok."

"So. See you around, little brother." He clapped Ludwig once on the shoulder and strode past towards the door.

Ludwig stood there and watched him go. Only after his brother was gone did he realize he hadn't said goodbye.

…

_One Year Later_

"You're late."

"Sorry, _Brüderlein_, you know how it is—life of a working man!"

"Don't call me that, it sounds childish."

Gilbert laughed and dropped his bag down next to his chair. "Aww, my little brother's all grown up now, is he?"

Ludwig rolled his eyes as his brother took a seat across the table from him.

Gilbert looked around at the table-covered terrace. "Nice place. Come here often?"

"Mm, not very. It's a little out of the way for me."

"Ah. Well. Thanks for making the effort today."

"Shouldn't take much effort to see a brother who lives in the same city."

"Is that aimed at me? C'mon Lud, not my fault you live all the way in Lichterfelde."

"You're the one that chose Friedrichshain."

"I didn't choose it—Antonio did! Anyway, you're the one with meetings every frickin' day of the week."

"I'm not the one who put this lunch off for four months."

"And I'm not the one that called off Christmas dinner last minute!"

Ludwig sighed. "Let's just order, alright?" He was tired and hot and wanted a cold beer.

"Fine." Gilbert buried his nose in his menu.

Food helped ease the atmosphere between them. Gilbert told his brother about a great new gig he and Antonio had gotten that he was sure would be their big break. He was slightly less enthusiastic when questioned about his consulting job.

"I told you, my boss is nuts! And my coworkers are like those alien-possessed humans from that horror movie. I'm tellin' you, it's freaky. They don't laugh, they don't even talk—I'm dying in there."

"Why don't you quit? Dedicate yourself full-time to your music?"

"Heh. You make it sound easy. We barely make rent as it is. And Antonio might have to go back to Spain, if he doesn't get the job he's hoping for."

"What about your big break?"

"Well, yeah, that would change things…" he trailed off, unconvincing.

"Gilbert, why don't you try for something in the management side of music, like you talked about? You'd be good at it."

Gilbert squinted at him. "You think so?"

Ludwig nodded. "I do."

"Heh, you've never even heard me play. How do you know I have the ear for it?"

"You don't need to be a good player to be a good manager."

"Are you saying I'm not a good player now?"

"Like you said, how could I know?"

Gilbert snorted. "What about you? You still letting your boss walk all over you?"

Ludwig hunched his shoulders. "I do not let him walk all over me."

"Ha, yeah you do. You're too stressed, I can tell every time I call."

"Which is never," muttered Ludwig.

Gilbert waved his hand. "Don't change the subject. I still say you should call it quits, start somewhere new."

Ludwig sighed. "What can I say. It's convenient working there."

"Psh. Convenience will be the death of modern society."

"Don't be melodramatic."

"I'm not being melodramatic, I'm being realistic."

"I think you confuse the two a bit too often."

He glanced at his watch. "Shit. I have to go."

"So soon?"

"If you'd come on time we would have had longer." He signaled the waiter and asked to pay.

"Alright, alright. Well, call every once in a while, will you?"

"I will if you will."

…

Ludwig only called Gilbert twice in the next eight months, and he only heard from his brother once, until he got a call from Gilbert in mid-February asking for him to come to his and Antonio's last gig. Antonio would be heading back to Madrid in March; the job had fallen through.

Ludwig arrived late; his boss had kept him over-time, and it had taken over an hour to get from Zehlendorf all the way to Ostkreuz, where Gilbert was playing.

Ludwig felt over-dressed in his work clothes. He removed his suit jacket and loosened his tie a bit, and stayed in the back corner of the club until his brother's set was over. A few girls came up and tried to dance with him, but they gave up when Ludwig stiffly refused to move to the beat.

"Ludwig!" Gilbert shouted when he'd made his way back out to the dance floor, barely audible over the deafening music. He swung an arm over his brother's shoulders. "Glad you made it! This is Antonio—Antonio, this is my brother!"

Gilbert's brunet companion beamed and shook his hand enthusiastically. "Pleased to finally meet you! Gilbert's told me so much!"

Ludwig blushed slightly at that, thinking whatever Gilbert had to say probably couldn't be that good.

Gilbert turned to shout in his brother's ear. "There's an afterparty at our place—you should come along!"

Ludwig wasn't one for parties, but he hadn't seen his brother in quite a while, and he knew Gilbert wanted him there. He'd already come this far anyway.

…

The party was nearly as loud as the club had been. Ludwig stood awkwardly in the corner, drink in hand, occasionally exchanging a few words with the increasingly drunk people who struck up conversation with him.

And because he didn't really have anything else to do, Ludwig drank too.

When he was on his fourth bottle, Antonio dragged him out to the dance floor for a little while, but Ludwig soon made his escape to the kitchen, where he grabbed another cold beer and chugged it down.

"Ludwig, there you are! What are you doing hiding in the kitchen?" Gilbert careened into him, a large drunken grin on his face. "Here, have a beer with me!" he slurred, pressing yet another bottle into his brother's hand.

"No, I just—"

"Drink!"

Gilbert started gulping down his own bottle, so Ludwig sighed and followed suit.

"Good! Now we dance!" Gilbert's hands went to his brother's waist and pulled him against him. That hazy smile was still on his face.

"Did you like my music?" Gilbert asked, leaning in.

"Uh—" Ludwig felt a bit too warm with his brother pressed against him like this. "Yes, it was good." His tongue felt thick in his mouth.

Gilbert beamed. "I'm so glad you came," he said, hands moving up Ludwig's chest to his neck and head. "Really, really glad… so nice of you…"

Gilbert's hands were in his hair, and Ludwig could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Everything felt sluggish and tingly at the same time, and Gilbert's head was so close, his lips were so close, close enough to kiss…

_Strange thought to have about your brother, _Ludwig's clouded mind managed.

A burst of raucous laughter to the right made Gilbert pull back as Antonio and a few other drunken party-goers stumbled into the kitchen in search of more beer.

They pulled Gilbert along with them back to the room with the loud music, and the next time Ludwig found his brother he was passed out on the couch.

He decided he was sober enough to make his way home.

...

**German:**

**Hallo:**__**hello**

**Spargel:**** asparagus (often white)**

**Prost: cheers**

**Brüderlein: little brother-an old-fashioned expression**

**"Pils" is pilsner beer and "Erdinger" is a beer brand. Lichterfelde, Friedrichshain, Zehlendorf, and Ostkreuz are all areas of Berlin.**

**Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think! You know how I love reviews.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Two Years Later_

Ludwig rang the doorbell, hoping he hadn't gotten the address wrong. This house, with its gate and columned porch, hardly seemed like it could be home to his brother.

The door opened and a woman in a white spring dress with long, wavy brown hair and sparkling green eyes appeared.

"Ah, you must be Ludwig! Come in, come in!" She ushered Ludwig inside.

"And… you're Elizaveta?"

"Oh, please, call me Elsi—it's what all my German friends call me. Ludwig! Well, I'm so pleased to finally meet the legendary brother!"

"Legendary?"

"Only because I've heard of you, but never saw you with my own eyes!" She laughed brightly.

Ludwig blushed slightly. He felt a little guilty that he was only meeting his brother's wife now, close to a year after their wedding. He wondered if Elsi thought that was terribly rude of him. But it wasn't as though he hadn't had good reason—he'd been on an important business trip to the south at the time of the ceremony, and if he'd missed the trip he wouldn't have been promoted. And the new position kept him busier than ever, so it wasn't easy to make it out to Potsdam.

"Well come along; your brother's out back."

Elizaveta led him down a hallway with tastefully-hung paintings and elaborate moldings. He caught sight of an airy kitchen before being brought into an elegant white sitting room with large sun windows. They stepped through the French doors hung with gauzy curtains and out onto a large patio.

Potted plants ringed the perimeter, brimming with elegant flowers Ludwig couldn't name. They were all in shades of white and palest lavender and blue. At the edge of the patio began the green lawn, which sloped gently down to a line of weeping willows along an inlet of the large lake, whose shimmering surface was visible through further rings of trees.

The willows were blooming, bursting with snowy white flowers that reminded Ludwig of cotton plants he'd seen in some movie about the American South.

A breeze rustled through the languorous branches, and as they shifted Ludwig noticed a figure standing among the trees, almost blending into them with his white shirt and pale blond hair.

Gilbert turned and smiled, then made his way up the long lawn to the patio.

"Ludwig! At last!" He clapped his brother on the arm. "It's good to see you, little brother."

Ludwig smiled back. "You too. This is quite the place you've got."

"Isn't it? I've got Elsi to thank—her father bought it back in the '90s when they moved from Hungary." Gilbert smiled and put an arm around his wife.

"Well, only after Father had such success with the record company. We weren't always rich," added Elsi with a self-conscious smile.

They sat on the patio and Elsi brought out a lunch of fennel salad, asparagus, bread and cheese. The conversation was polite; Ludwig asked about the company, and Elsi gave an enthusiastic explanation of all the labels they owned. They were mostly classical, Ludwig noted: something his brother hadn't mentioned.

He also noted that Gilbert was mostly silent for that part of the conversation. Ludwig wondered if his brother felt left out of his wife's domain; he hadn't gotten the job he'd wanted with the record company, after all, but then ended up marrying into the family anyway.

After lunch Gilbert suggested he give Ludwig a tour of the house and garden. He pointed out the couple of boats docked in the inlet that they owned, and showed Ludwig Elizaveta's rose garden: all pink and white varieties.

The house was even more impressive than Ludwig had originally imagined; the kitchen was newly furnished with stainless steel appliances, the dining room was impressively grand (only for formal use, he was told), and there was a room solely dedicated to Elsi's instrument and sheet-music collection.

"It was her last husband who got her into all this stuff. He was a failed concert pianist, but he got a position high up in the company. That's how they met; Elsi only became chairwoman after they divorced, when her father stepped down. It's weird if you ask me, that she still works with her ex. Sometimes he comes over and plays the grand." Gilbert pointed to the concert-size, antique-looking grand piano in the corner.

Gilbert led Ludwig upstairs to the massive master bedroom and white-tiled adjoining bathroom, then through three more elegantly furnished bedrooms, all made up for guests.

"Does anyone ever use these?" asked Ludwig, admiring a four-poster covered in fine white linens.

"Rarely," said Gilbert, leaning against a window frame and squinting out into the sunlit yard. He seemed distracted.

"So much space," mused Ludwig quietly.

"Yeah. All wasted on us two."

"Do you like living here?"

Gilbert shifted. "Like it? Sure. I mean, it would be pretty ungrateful of me to say I didn't like it. I never thought I'd live in such luxury."

Ludwig came up next to his brother. "But… it's not really you, is it?"

Gilbert simply met his eyes, then looked away.

The late afternoon sun raking in through the window struck Gilbert's face and hair in a way that seemed to make him gleam like the marble statues gracing the tables in the sitting room downstairs. He was so white, and bright, and clean, like everything else in the house. Ludwig had the odd thought that his brother could almost blend into the decorations surrounding him.

Something about his features, outlined in afternoon gold, was breathtakingly beautiful, and maybe just a little melancholy. Ludwig felt a nostalgia for something he couldn't place, like missing something he'd never known.

"Are you happy?" he asked softly.

Gilbert's eyes met his again, guarded. "I'm… not unhappy," he said carefully.

Something clicked in Ludwig's memory, and his heart sped up. He wondered if his brother remembered, too.

"That's not the same thing, remember?"

Gilbert's brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

Ludwig swallowed down his disappointment and looked away. "Never mind."

He walked over to the bed and sat down. The mattress was luxuriously soft.

"Are you going to start working again, do you think?" He looked back up at his brother, silhouetted in the window.

Gilbert considered him for a moment, then came to sit on the bed next to him. He shrugged. "Yeah, I'd like to, I guess. You know, I still compose, sometimes."

"Yeah? Maybe you can sign a contract with your wife," Ludwig teased lightly.

"Tch. She only does classical music and the occasional avant-garde weird thing."

"Hm. I was surprised to hear that—I thought you'd try for a job with a more… I don't know, 'happening' company? You know, whatever the 'cool kids' are listening to?"

"Yeah, well, I didn't get the job, so, doesn't matter much, does it?"

"Mm."

Gilbert flopped down on his back on the bed. He gazed up at his brother. "You're disappointed in me, aren't you? Think I'm wasting myself here."

Ludwig didn't answer, simply looked down at his brother, amazed how his hair looked nearly the same shade of white as the duvet, how his eyes almost gleamed red in the sunlight.

"Well, you'd be right I guess. Don't know what I'm doing half the time. Guess some things don't change."

"You've changed," said Ludwig before he could stop himself.

"Yeah? Is that a good or a bad thing?" Gilbert held his gaze with a small smile that could have been a grimace, as if he knew which answer to expect.

Ludwig realized he'd slowly been leaning more and more over his brother. He brought a hand down to support himself. Gilbert was still looking straight at him, and there was a strange feeling in his chest he couldn't place.

Before he could think up an answer, there was a knock on the door and in stepped Elsi.

Ludwig sat up straight immediately. He wasn't sure why he felt so guilty. Gilbert simply rolled over so he could look up at his wife.

"Oh, there you two are! Sorry to disturb your brother time—I was just wondering, Ludwig, if you'd be joining us for dinner? You're welcome to, of course—"

"Ah, no," said Ludwig, rising. "Thank you, but I really think I ought to be getting back. I still have some work to get done."

"All right then, I'll get you your jacket."

"Thank you."

Elizaveta disappeared with a bright smile.

Ludwig made to follow her, but a grip on his wrist held him back. He turned to find his brother looking at him with pleading eyes.

"I want to see you again soon, Ludwig. Alright? No more putting it off month after month."

Ludwig blinked. "Alright," he said slowly.

Gilbert let him go with a short nod. "Good."

The couple saw Ludwig off at the door. Elsi waved, but Gilbert simply stood there looking after his brother.

…

"So, where is it?"

"In Schöneberg."

"Nice. Do you like it?"

"Yes, I've been saving up ever since I got the promotion."

"Well, when can I come see it?"

Ludwig glanced around at the stacks of boxes crowding his new flat. He shifted his grip on the receiver. "Whenever you like, I guess, but I won't be properly moved in for some time."

"Great, I'm free tomorrow. I'll be there at four, alright?"

"At four? Uh, well—"

"What, you're not working on a Sunday are you?"

"No, no… Four would work."

"Good. See you then, little brother."

"Right, okay, bye."

…

"So, this is it."

"This is it. I know it's not anything compared to your palace, but, I think I can make it home."

Gilbert paused, letting his eyes wander around the room that Ludwig had designated as dining room and work space.

"Gotta admit, I'm a little jealous."

"Jealous? Of this place?"

"Yeah. Y'know I still don't feel right in that house, even after practically a year. I can't make it my own. Elsi decides on all the decorating, the flowers, the linens, etc. etc. I kinda doubt I could ever feel at home in a place like that, though."

"Have you… talked to Elsi about it?"

Gilbert laughed. "Elsi? Nah. She's a powerhouse, that woman. She cooks, she cleans, she entertains, and on top of all that she's one tough businesswoman. And everything is perfect the way it is as far as she's concerned." He looked over at Ludwig. "You're the only one I can tell. You're all I got."

Ludwig looked back at his brother. His throat felt odd, with Gilbert looking at him like that, that wistful expression on his face. "Funny, isn't it?"

"What's funny?"

"Just… that's what family's for, isn't it?" he blurted out. "The last person you turn to, when you haven't got anyone left… that's what you said."

"I said that? Huh. How profound of me."

"Yes, you said it that night, when you were visiting me… remember?"

"…No."

"You don't?"

Ludwig suddenly realized they'd been moving slowly towards each other. His brother was still looking into his face.

"We were talking, on the couch, and you said… that…"

Suddenly Gilbert placed a finger on Ludwig's lips, silencing him. He was very close now, staring straight into his brother's face. He was breathing heavily enough that Ludwig could see his chest rise and fall. Ludwig realized his breaths were coming heavy, too. They must be hot and moist against Gilbert's finger.

Gilbert seemed to search for something in his face, for just a moment, before his hands were on either side of Ludwig's head, grabbing him and pulling him close, clashing their mouths together.

Ludwig's hands were gripping his brother's sides before he told them what to do, hungrily pulling in this hot soft mouth against his own.

For a few muffled, stifling moments they struggled to push themselves together, until suddenly Gilbert broke away, panting.

He stumbled back a few steps. "Ah, I, I don't, that wasn't—"

But Ludwig was already stepping back in, reaching for his brother again.

Gilbert tried to step away and bumped against Ludwig's desk. "I mean, we can't…"

But he threaded his fingers through Ludwig's hair when his brother leaned over him, and eagerly found his mouth again.

They had sunk to the floor by the next time they pulled apart. Gilbert's eyes looked hazy, confused.

"Do you…"

It was Ludwig's turn to raise a finger to his brother's lips. He didn't want him to talk, spoil the moment. He simply wanted to feel his hard, lithe body against his own, his long musician's fingers pressed into his flesh.

A slight moan escaped Gilbert's mouth as their lips locked again, searching hands making quick work of shirts and belts.

Gilbert's hands on his chest sent a thrill through Ludwig's skin, and he worked his mouth down, over long pale neck, strong shoulders. Gilbert was panting in his arms, gasping and gorgeous, this strange creature that was his brother. How had he ever thought of this unknowable beauty as an occasional nuisance?

Ludwig realized he had never really known his brother. And so he discovered him, with hands and mouth, and left no inch untouched.

…

**A/N: Potsdam is a city just outside of Berlin, and Schöneberg is a neighborhood in Berlin.**

**Please leave a review! I'll appreciate it ever so much.**


	3. Chapter 3

They lay side by side on the new carpet, naked bodies tangled and shiny with sweat.

Ludwig stared up at the ceiling, and noticed a small crack in the plaster. How had he missed that before? He'd have to get it patched up.

His hands smoothed up and down Gilbert's back and sides.

"How long have you wanted that?" he asked softly.

Gilbert shifted, laying his head on Ludwig's chest so he could look up into his brother's face. "Don't know. Not sure I knew I wanted it until it was happening."

"But, that night when you visited me… and the way you… I don't know, look at me sometimes… Don't you think it meant something? Don't you think this means something?"

Gilbert rolled onto his back with a sigh. "Why does anything have to mean anything? Let's just… enjoy it while it lasts."

"…Enjoy it?" Ludwig laughed weakly. "You just committed homosexual incestuous adultery, and your plan is to just… enjoy it?"

Gilbert sat up and trailed a finger down Ludwig's chest and leaned in close. "That is exactly what I plan to do," he breathed against his brother's lips, then planted a languid kiss on them.

He broke away after several long moments with a smirk on his face. "Now come on; something tells me you haven't broken in that big new bed of yours."

…

"Is this illegal, what we're doing?" Ludwig mused an hour later as he held his brother in his arms, sprawled over bedcovers in disarray. They'd thrown them off when the heat had become too sweltering.

"Well, incest is illegal in Germany, isn't it? Didn't you hear about that brother-sister couple in the news?" Gilbert didn't sound the least bit concerned.

"Yeah, but, that's because of the children, isn't it? With two guys… do you think they could really send us to jail?"

Gilbert yawned. "They won't send us to jail, because no one will ever find out. We won't talk about it, and it will be just like it never happened." His eyes were resolutely fixed on the opposite wall.

Something clenched in Ludwig's chest. "Do you really want that?" he asked quietly.

Gilbert turned his impassive gaze on him. "Of course I do. And so should you." He slipped free of Ludwig's grasp and sat up. "I should get back."

Ludwig hooked an arm around his brother's waist. "You don't have to."

"Yes I do; Elsi's having guests over for dinner. She's expecting me." Gilbert didn't sound exactly excited by the prospect.

But Ludwig let him get up anyway, and followed him into the other room.

Gilbert set about gathering up his clothes and throwing them back on. "We'll write it off as the heat, or beer, or magic fairy dust or whatever."

Ludwig grasped his brother's elbow. "Gilbert, I want to see you again."

"'Course you will. Come over any time. Elsi loves to cook for guests."

"You know what I mean."

Gilbert finally met his eyes. He gave a half-smile. "Magic fairy dust only works as an excuse once, y'know." He clapped his brother on the shoulder and slipped on his shoes.

"See you around, little brother. And by the way, I like the apartment."

And with that he was out the door, leaving Ludwig standing naked in the middle of his cluttered, unfinished dining room.

…

Ludwig tried calling Gilbert several times in the following weeks. He didn't care what his brother said. He needed to see him again.

On the occasions that Gilbert actually picked up, he made excuses not to see his brother. But one time Elizaveta answered, and promptly invited Ludwig over for lunch the following Sunday.

He was a little nervous when he arrived at the grand house. Maybe Gilbert would be upset with him for using Elsi to set up a time to see him? Would his brother even be able to act normal in front of his wife? Would Ludwig be able to act normal?

He was almost surprised how easy it was to keep a polite smile on his face when Elsi greeted him at the door, however.

"Ah, Ludwig, you're just on time! Roderich's come over too—I'll introduce you!"

Ludwig remembered Gilbert telling him once that Roderich was the name of Elsi's previous husband, though his brother usually simply referred to him as "the Ex."

Roderich Edelstein was a man of manners and charm. Ludwig had to admit he looked far more at home lounging in the white wicker chair with a Melange in hand ("After all these years, she still remembers just how I like them," he'd offered with an ingratiating smile) than Gilbert ever could. With a jolt, Ludwig realized this man had once called this place home.

Gilbert, for his part, greeted Ludwig as if he hadn't a care in the world. He even managed to behave himself during lunch, though Ludwig could tell Roderich irked him to no end.

Gilbert didn't speak much, and spared barely a word for his brother.

Several times, Ludwig was certain when he glanced at his brother that his eyes had been on him just a moment before, like they were reaching out for each other in the dark and kept missing by mere centimeters.

It also did not escape Ludwig's notice how Roderich smiled just a little too warmly at Elsi, and how she laughed just a bit too much at his sophisticated witticisms.

It didn't escape Gilbert's notice either.

"Ludwig, why don't I show you around the lake?" he suggested suddenly, standing from the table.

Ludwig looked up at his brother in surprise. Gilbert hadn't even finished his beer. That was unlike him.

"Ah, a walk around the lake would be lovely in this weather—" began Roderich, but Elsi cut him off.

"Actually, Roddy, I was hoping you might play that new piece for me, remember, the one you were telling me about?" Elizaveta seemed to realize the invitation was extended to Ludwig and Ludwig only.

He wouldn't pass up an opportunity to speak with his brother alone, so Ludwig drained the rest of his own bottle and stood to follow him.

"You don't like him much, do you?" he ventured when they had left the yard behind and crossed over the inlet on a footbridge. Willows shaded their path; the white flowers, fallen from the branches, lay dirtied underfoot.

"Heh, is it that obvious?"

"Subtlety isn't exactly your strong suit."

"I wouldn't be too sure. Maybe you just don't know me well enough." He smirked at his little brother.

Ludwig could feel his pulse quicken in his throat.

They walked in silence. Ludwig opened his mouth to speak several times, but his courage always faltered.

Finally, when he couldn't stand it any longer, he took a deep breath and steeled himself to say; "So, are we going to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Oh come on Gilbert, don't play dumb with me."

"No really, what?"

Ludwig just glared at him.

"Well, if you can't say what it is, then I guess we're not going to talk about it."

Ludwig sighed in exasperation. "Are we going to talk about the fact that we slept together?" he hissed through his teeth.

Gilbert shot him a steely glance. "I thought we had an agreement."

"No, Gilbert, there was no agreement. I never said I wouldn't talk about."

"Well I don't see what there is to talk about. We did it; it's done."

"Yes, but—don't walk away from me!"

He tried to turn his brother back around towards him, but Gilbert shook him off.

"Honestly, Ludwig, this is—"

But Ludwig would never learn what his brother thought this was. Just then he was seized with a sudden urgency and grabbed hold of Gilbert's arm. He hauled him off the side of the path into a thicket of trees and shoved him up against a trunk.

Gilbert opened his mouth to complain, but Ludwig swiftly silenced him with a fierce kiss.

Gilbert struggled against his stronger brother, but Ludwig held him fast.

When he finally broke for air, Gilbert glared at him. "You bastard."

Ludwig brought their mouths swiftly together once more to cut off any further insults.

Gilbert attempted to wriggle his wrists out of his brother's grasp, but when he succeeded in freeing them, he didn't try to push him away. Instead he gripped at his shoulder, neck, head, trying desperately to pull him closer.

They fumbled together in a violent endeavor to hold, to meld. Eventually they drew apart, gasping.

Ludwig kept his brother pinned to the tree, caged in by his arms. He leaned his forehead against Gilbert's and stood there, just breathing, eyes closed.

Gilbert shifted, and Ludwig backed away to look at him.

"You," breathed Gilbert, a wry smile twisting his lips.

"What?" asked Ludwig, heat rising in his cheeks.

"Nothing." Gilbert was positively grinning now. His eyes flashed. "Catch me if you can."

And with that he pushed himself off of the trunk and darted through the underbrush.

It took Ludwig a moment to process the challenge before he was lunging after him.

Gilbert broke through the trees back onto the flat path, laughing as he went. "C'mon _Brüderchen_, getting too old to play chase?" he cackled.

But Ludwig was faster than Gilbert, and at a bend in the path he managed to grab him about the waist. Gilbert tried to keep running, tripping them up so they both tumbled down the grassy bank towards the water.

Ludwig rolled himself over his smirking brother. He glanced around to make sure their position was sheltered by undergrowth and tall reeds, and kissed him again.

Gilbert kissed back enthusiastically for a few seconds, slipping his hands up Ludwig's shirt. Ludwig melted into the touch, when suddenly those fingers started mercilessly poking and tickling at Ludwig's sides. He shot up with an undignified squawk, twisting away from Gilbert's hands as his brother shook with laughter.

Gilbert stood and brushed himself off as the other glared at him. He leaned down and picked up a flat smooth pebble, rubbing it with his thumb before skipping it, one, two, three-four, over the surface of the water.

"Reminds me of the good old days," sighed Gilbert contentedly. "Remember that day when Mama and Papa took us to Wansee, the first year after the divorce? That was a great day. We wrestled in the water and I put sand in your hair." He chuckled and skipped another stone.

Ludwig raised his eyebrows. "I remember that as a singularly unpleasant experience. Sand in the eyes is rather painful. And you kept pushing me underwater for so long that _Mutti_ finally had to intervene."

Gilbert wrinkled his nose. "Oh yeah. Eh, sorry 'bout that. Just doing my brotherly duties, you know." Another stone, three skips then down into the lake.

Ludwig hummed skeptically.

Gilbert turned to him. "But we had a good time as kids, didn't we? Even if we were never really close."

"I remember it mostly being you teasing me mercilessly."

"Exactly!" Gilbert grinned and winked at him, and Ludwig had to smile in spite of himself.

They continued their way around the lake, Gilbert reminiscing about childhood pranks and Ludwig occasionally correcting his memory. Ludwig felt as though something had fallen into place, something that had been missing, perhaps without him ever realizing it. He hadn't seen Gilbert this happy in a very long time.

They wandered through the gardens of old, stately palaces that looked out over the water, and explored among the long-abandoned buildings still standing on their grounds. Gilbert imitated the poses of statues they came across with a ridiculously pretentious expression on his face that made Ludwig laugh every time. He had the feeling his brother had picked the look up from watching Roderich sip his coffee.

They came to an elaborately decorated pagoda on the edge of the lake. Gilbert bounded up the steps and leaned on the railing, gazing across the water.

Ludwig came up beside him. "Can you see your house from here?"

"No. It's better that way. I can pretend I'm lord and master of one of those old palaces instead, and no one lives there but me."

"Wouldn't that get lonely?"

"You kidding me? Being alone's the best. I walk around here on my own sometimes, imagining how it looked it the time of Frederick the Great or something, and it's the best part of my day." He considered his brother for a moment. "You'd be allowed to visit me, though, if you wanted."

"Oh, thank you, that's very gracious of your Majesty."

Gilbert snorted, but a smile twisted his features.

Ludwig smiled back.

…

When they got back to the house Gilbert pulled Ludwig to the willows at the end of the lawn. Behind the screen of branches it was impossible to be seen from the house.

His warm mouth found Ludwig's quickly.

"I need to see you again," murmured Ludwig against his brother's lips.

Just then Elsi's voice came from the patio. "Gilbert? Ludwig?"

Gilbert pulled away and ducked out through the branches. "Here!"

Ludwig followed his brother.

"There you are! I thought I saw you coming back. Listen, I got a call and have to go into the office for a bit. Roderich's left, he gives his excuses for not waiting for you. I'll be back this evening, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to make dinner. Could you order us something? And Ludwig, you're free to stay if you'd like."

"Ah, thank you, I'll have to see."

"Of course." She turned to Gilbert. "See you later, _Hasi_!"

"_Tschüss, Süße_."

Ludwig turned to Gilbert when Elsi had gone. "She calls you _Hasi_?" he asked, holding back a laugh.

"Yeah, shut up," grumbled Gilbert.

…

They were in the guest bedroom with the white linens again, standing face to face, inches apart.

Ludwig very carefully unbuttoned his brother's shirt and pushed it off his shoulders, trailing his hands over his pale skin.

Gilbert lifted Ludwig's t-shirt over his head and off his arms. His hands wandered from chest, to stomach, to sides, and back up, in careful circles like he was trying to create a mental map of his brother's torso.

They removed their pants as carefully as their shirts and stood naked, embracing each other.

Ludwig appreciated his brother's beauty more this time: the curve of his back, the slight indent of his waist, the flat plane of his chest and his long, graceful neck. His slender, languid limbs draped over the bed. The clouding of his violet eyes as they gave themselves over to pleasure, the music of his voice as he panted his brother's name a thousand times into the soft white pillows.

_Ludwig, Ludwig, Ludwig…_

...

**A/N: Melange is a Viennese coffee specialty. Wansee is a lake in Berlin popular for recreation such as boating and swimming, as there is a sandy beach.**

**German:**

**Brüderchen: little brother or kid brother, more casual and common (I'm told) than "Brüderlein"**

**Hasi: bunny, a petname for a lover**

**Tschüss: bye**

**Süße: sweetie**

**Also I think I forgot to say in the first chapter that "Königsberger Klöpse" is a traditional Prussian meatball dish.**

**Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews so far! Please let me know what you think; I love hearing from you all. :) I'm not sure if I'll update this or "Submission" next, but my goal is to finish this story fairly quickly. (Reviews=best motivation!)**


	4. Chapter 4

Ludwig's phone rang. It was at his ear in an instant.

"Can you make it?"

"Yeah, told her I'm going to Kiel for the weekend to visit some old friends."

"Why couldn't you just tell her you're coming here? Spending a weekend with your brother isn't suspicious."

"Don't want her popping in to bring us lunch or something. It's the kind of thing she would do."

There was a shuffling on the other end of the line, and muffled voices. After a moment Gilbert spoke again, his voice softer.

"I hate whispering on the phone. Makes me feel like I should feel guilty."

"Do you?"

"…No. It's not… we're not hurting anyone."

"…Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then."

…

Ludwig was buzzing with anticipation. He couldn't sit, he couldn't stand, he couldn't do anything productive, and he couldn't stay still. He ended up wandering from kitchen, to dining room, to living room, to dining room, to bathroom, to bedroom, back to dining room again just in case the doorbell rang. He wanted to be right by the door when Gilbert arrived, so he wouldn't waste any time letting him in.

Half an hour, back and forth, back and forth. And a half hour more.

After an hour and a quarter, Ludwig had finally set himself down in the dining room chair closest to the entryway, impatiently tapping his feet on the floor, when at last the sound he'd been waiting for came.

He shot up and pressed the button to let Gilbert in downstairs, and flung open his own door. Finally, Gilbert made his way to the top of the stairs and bustled in with a duffel bag over his shoulder.

"You're late."

"I know, Elsi wouldn't let me leave the house without triple-checking I'd packed enough underwear and toothpaste. Honestly, I swear she thinks she's my mother sometimes."

"That would make an even more interesting love-triangle."

Ludwig shut the door behind his brother and hovered over him as he slipped off his shoes and set his bag down. He wished he would look at him; he wanted to kiss him right now, wanted to feel him this very moment. The wait had been torture.

"Ugh, mom-sex thoughts. Not cool, Lud. Remember, I knew her better than you—"

Gilbert turned to face his brother and was immediately met with an open-mouthed kiss, cutting off his words and thoughts.

The temperature of the air around them rose steadily as Ludwig pushed his brother further back into the room. They bumped into the table and Ludwig hoisted Gilbert up to sit on it, positioning himself between his legs as they gripped each other closer, harder.

Ludwig fumbled desperately with Gilbert's shirt before managing to pull it off. He buried his face in Gilbert's neck, sucking and biting, soaking up his brother's perfectly needy sounds as his nails scrabbled at Ludwig's broad back.

"You know," panted Gilbert, "as sexy as it would be for you to fuck me right here, don't you—mmnn, think that, uh—nngh—the bed might be, ah, a bit more comfy?"

Ludwig lifted him wordlessly as Gilbert's legs wrapped around his waist and carried him to the bedroom, lips never leaving his brother's skin, even when he deposited him on the mattress.

Gilbert reveled in the strong arms around him, in the soft lips sending shivers down his spine, in the sheer thrill that their unions had become for him. His kid brother, all grown up, worshiping his body with hands and mouth. Ludwig, such a strong body to hold, to press against, bringing him to a pleasure more unbearable and pure than winter air against his bare teeth, setting every nerve on edge.

Ludwig took him, impatient and urgent, as though he were afraid Gilbert would disappear before they could reach the climax. The heat, the rough need of it, left Gilbert feeling raw in the painful, satisfying way of an itch scratched till it bleeds, and tears streamed down his face in pure bliss.

…

The warmth of a mouth on his stomach, chest, shoulder, soothed Gilbert as he gazed out the open window. The sunlight hitting the foot of the bed was almost too bright to look at, and the piece of sky visible through the glass was so blue it looked like a painted backdrop.

The nipping of teeth pulled him reluctantly from his contented daze.

He looked down at his brother. His face was passive as he laid his head on Gilbert's chest, but his eyes glowed with an inner smile.

_God, they're as blue as the sky. Maybe bluer._

"What are you thinking about?"

Gilbert could feel his brother's deep voice rumble through his skin.

He lost himself gazing into those too-blue eyes. Finally he whispered, "How perfect you are."

The glow in those eyes grew brighter.

A smile played at Gilbert's lips. "Are you sure we're related?"

A chuckle reverberated through Ludwig's chest. "Yes—you're perfect too."

Gilbert sighed, wanting to keep this warmth inside him as long as possible. "Pity. If we weren't, we could stay together, just like this, forever." He smiled at the thought of never leaving this bed, of his brother holding and loving him so very thoroughly, always.

Ludwig leaned in closer and nuzzled at his jaw. "We could still stay together forever, if you want," he whispered.

Gilbert leaned away to look at his brother with a slight frown. "Don't be ridiculous, Ludwig. Just relax and enjoy it." He settled himself down further against his brother's side.

Ludwig said nothing. Eventually he wrapped his arms around Gilbert's waist, holding him just a little too tight to be relaxing.

…

The day passed, and the next, in a whirl of heat and skin and sheets. They lost track of time. They ate when they were hungry, slept when they were tired, and made love in between, on the bed, on the couch, on the kitchen counter, against the wall, in the shower.

On the third day, as the sun streamed in through the window, Gilbert suggested they go for a walk.

They went to a nearby park, staying on the paths beneath the trees to escape the heat.

Ludwig might have preferred to stay at home, encased in the bubble of his and his brother's newfound world.

Gilbert questioning him about work forced him to come reluctantly back to reality.

"I don't like it," he admitted with a sigh. "I was working to get this new position for so long, but now that I'm there—I don't know what I'm working for any more. I don't care about my job, about what I do. And I could keep on going like this, maybe get another promotion down the line, but it would always stay the same."

"Why don't you quit?"

"And have to start all over somewhere else? I need the stability to pay off my apartment. I don't know." He sighed again. "I feel stuck."

"Hm. You and me both."

Ludwig didn't ask. He knew what his brother meant.

They walked on in silence for a bit, before Ludwig finally spoke again. "You know… I was serious. About what I said before."

"About what?"

"About… us staying together." His voice was soft. He felt self-conscious, even if it was only the occasional jogger, biker, or yoga mom with a stroller passing them by.

Gilbert made an exasperated sound. "Ludwig—"

"No, I'm serious, just listen to me!" he whispered more urgently. "Why should either of us stay where we are right now? I'm not content, you're clearly not content, your marriage is falling apart—"

"Who said it's falling apart?" Gilbert complained.

Ludwig rolled his eyes. "Right, because you'd absolutely be sleeping with me if you were happy with your wife."

"Being unhappy is not the same as everything falling apart."

Ludwig huffed. "But still, why stay if we're unhappy? We could go away together, live together, no one would have to know—"

"I'm not listening to this bull crap. Just, stop spoiling things."

"Spoiling? How am I spoiling anything? I'm just saying—I don't get it, don't you like being with me?"

"Of course I—" Gilbert shot him a look, then sighed. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't. But Ludwig, that doesn't mean—mm. I just… I still love you as my little brother."

Ludwig wanted to say something. He wanted to say a million things, but nothing seemed able to leave his mouth. He finally settled on an annoyed growl.

"So what, are you going to just toss me aside when you're finished with me?" It came out a little more spitefully than he'd thought it would.

Gilbert gave him a hard look. "No, because you're my brother. I wouldn't do that to you."

Ludwig looked away. After a moment he said, "Let's go back. I'm hungry," even though he wasn't.

"Alright," Gilbert said, a bit too lightly.

The walk back was a little awkward. Ludwig was brooding, and Gilbert was playing innocent, pointing out funny graffiti or hipsters with weird hair as they walked, as if trying to snap his brother out of it. Ludwig wasn't having any of it.

When they finally got to Ludwig's Gilbert claimed he wanted currywurst and French fries rather than the salad makings in the fridge, so he went out in search of some to bring back. Ludwig settled down at the table with a beer in hand to wait.

…

Roderich Edelstein was walking down the sidewalk of a main road in Schöneberg, dressed meticulously in an eggplant-colored suit. He pulled an iPhone out of his pocket and looked at a map on it, then around at his surroundings. He had already turned down a wrong side street once.

He glanced up at a street sign, then down at his phone, and back up again. He had just made up his mind and was about to turn, when something caught the corner of his eye.

A head of untidy platinum hair, a pale face, a familiar gait.

He turned to look. Gilbert? It had to be him—but he couldn't get a good glimpse of his face, and the man had disappeared behind a group of Turkish women with their shopping bags.

Roderich frowned. It had looked so much like him… Could he have been visiting Ludwig? But he was in Kiel, wasn't he?

Perhaps he had been mistaken. He put it from his mind, and focused on finding the street he wanted.

…

The buzzer for the front door sounded in Ludwig's apartment. He pressed the button to unlock it, thinking Gilbert had been rather quick.

He opened his door, listening to the footsteps slowly make their way up the stairs. It didn't quite register that his brother usually liked to speed up steps two at a time.

But the head that appeared over the railing did not belong to his brother.

"_Herr_ Edelstein!" he exclaimed in surprise, heart kicking up to twice its normal rate, cold sweat breaking over his neck. "How—why—" Finally he remembered his manners. "What a surprise! What brings you here?"

Roderich smiled as he mopped his brow with a handkerchief. "Ah, _Herr_ Beilschmidt, I hope you don't mind me dropping in like this—I knew I would be in the area and thought I might bring you those CDs I promised!"

Ludwig blinked. CDs? _What CDs?_ And then he remembered, an offhand comment made at the luncheon they'd shared, about a pianist Ludwig admired, and Roderich offering to lend him some unreleased and rare recordings of her, as Roderich had had the pleasure of meeting the famous musician in person.

"Uh—oh! Yes, um, thank you so much, that's very considerate."

"Oh, not at all. It's always a delight to share such things with a fellow music-enthusiast." Roderich pulled a few CD cases with hand-made labels from his bag and handed them over.

Ludwig stood dumbly, CDs in hand. He suddenly realized Roderich probably expected to be invited in.

"Uh… I would invite you in for coffee, only, I was, um…" _Only Gilbert could be back any moment._ "I was about to run out. Glad you caught me though." Suddenly something struck Ludwig as quite odd. "Uh, how did you say you got this address again?"

"Oh, I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty of looking you up to see how I could best get the recordings to you."

"Oh, right. Well, very kind of you, I appreciate it."

"Any time. Well, I suppose I should let you go then."

"Yes. Ah, I'm sorry, I wish we had some time to discuss, ah—" He gestured vaguely with the CDs. He'd suddenly forgotten the pianist's name.

"Oh yes, well, perhaps another time, at your brother's house or some such."

The reference to Gilbert made his cheeks heat even more. But finally, Roderich was turning to go.

_Yes, go, go, go… Just, leave, and Gilbert please don't be back, don't come back yet…_

Ludwig cringed when Roderich turned at the top of the stairs. "Ah, Ludwig, by the way… Have you seen Gilbert recently?"

Ludwig was sure his heart stopped beating for a second. "Gilbert?" he managed to get out of his dry throat. "Un, no, isn't he in, uh, Kiel?"

"Oh, right, yes, yes. Of course." Roderich sounded distracted.

"…Why?"

"Ah, no matter. When is he supposed to be back?"

"Um… you'd probably do better to ask Elizabeta…"

"Yes, of course. Well. Till next time, then!"

"Yes, thank you again!"

And with that Roderich was finally gone down the stairs.

Ludwig closed the door and slumped down at the table, exhausted, and took a long draught of his beer.

…

Roderich crossed the street away from Ludwig's apartment. He though it might be faster to go back to the S-Bahn stop a different way than he'd come. He should have brought a car—he hated travelling by public transport.

But then a figure came loping up the street on the opposite sidewalk. White-blond hair, pale skin, carefree strides. There was no mistaking him this time: Gilbert.

Roderich watched, dumbstruck, as his ex-wife's husband arrived at Ludwig's apartment door, pressed the buzzer for Ludwig's apartment, and disappeared inside the building.

Strange. How very… strange.

...

**A/N: Thank you to all my readers and followers, and especially my reviewers! I've loved reading what you have to say and I hope to reply to the longer reviews soon. Reviews=love :D**

**Currywurst is a popular fast food in Berlin-basically like a sausage/hot dog with curry sauce on it.**

**Herr: Mr.**

**Also, I got a question regarding the title and realized I should probably say, "Die Träumer" means "The Dreamers."**


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